Really... Really! Really?? Yup

Being a part of a university has its advantages. You feel part of something bigger, something more; or atleast, thats what I feel like when I hang out with my friends from C-Section. It's pretty much perfect. We laugh together, we have family dinners, we drink together, we party together, we kinda pass out together... its pretty much the Jersey shore, in Lethbridge of all places and we act like a really big family. I think that you need that family atmosphere to do well, honestly I do. Which kind of leads onto my main point. In this family environment, the whole family deals with things communally, so when one person gets hurt, everyone cares and really wants to know what happened so that they could maybe help the situation out a little.

After this toga cab which was made into a huge deal by everyone, (I didnt go... wasnt feeling the Toga) people came back drunk and having a good time. We sat and we chatted about the nights events and all the funny things that had happened in Period Blood's suite. It was time for me to go, I was getting a little tired, and thought that I'd say good night to the people on my floor. Stepping out of the suite, I turn right down my corridor where I see Will Smith (Kinda difficult to see, but when I got up close and saw the dreads... I just knew). I go up to him, and just as I turn the corner, I saw him writing a word down. I asked him what he was doing when R.A # whomever came around the corner and told me "Hi, you're getting written up, write your name down". I was shocked, flummoxed, pissed, riled up, annoyed, and any other adjective for "holy fuck, what just happened" that you can come up with. I asked why, what did I do to deserve a write up for walking around. I wasn't loud, I wasn't running, I was silent, no one knew I was there apart from Nick and RA.... I'm a bloody Ninja for heavens sake! The RA claims that I was being too loud and that I needed to write my name down. When Will Smith had written his name down, he passed the notebook to me, where upon, the RA took it and wrote my name down for me.... Does that even count? I don't agree to being written up, I wasn't loud and they were drunk clearly making their sense of judgment a little skewed.

I just leave it, I would fight it in the morning or whenever I had the free time to worry about a write up that I didn't deserve... again.... I walk into Potters room, and talk with Will, not Smith, and then I told him that the RA is writing everyone up, and sure enough we go into Period Bloods suite and there the RA was, handing out their notepad for everyone to sign. Prairie Boy got 2 down because he had his Cousin over for the weekend (gotta feel for the kid), I believe that VW got 2 because Ray was there and as Ray doesn't go to the school anymore, he is a guest of his and will be put under his name... kind of like a casualty of circumstance. Will walks into the suite where he is reprimanded by RA and was told that liquor in the hallway is against the rules, so Potter got that write up. I don't think I've seen as many people as that, written up in the space of 2 minutes. Absolutely miserable. No one was happy, they basically ruined the entire night, and its not like the RA hasn't broken laws themselves. Mini Fridge in their room? Really? That is clearly a violation. Urghhhhhh
Half of the section was written up... tragic.

Basically write ups aren't fun, and they are realllly sucky when it isn't even your fault but you have to deal with the consequences. Like when life gives you lemons, you toss them back and demand a fucking refund because you hate lemons and really aren't in the mood for some of that lemonade.

Until something like this stupid situation happens again, have a good one.

F.F

Hypocrites... All of them

Okay,
You know when something big happens and that thing is "in"? Like setting a trend. Well right now, Star Wars is big on my floor. They have the computer games and they play on the shared Xbox donated by Potter at the beginning of the year, which he kindly shares with everyone. I asked questions about the game and the origins of the games and such. Apparently me not knowing the main characters in the movie/game/book and whatever other depiction of this phenomenon that I wasn't brought up with, is a crime. I get shouted down and yelled at for being dumb and stupid for not knowing why people run around with light sabers after guys in cloaks... my bad.

We watched the first three of the movies today, which were cool but when something is not explained and it seems relevant to the story line... I like to figure it out right there and then. So I voice my questions and I get yelled at.Yes, I ask during the movie, but I fail to see the difference in asking one question every half hour than people in the back of the room talking over the TV which was set to a 100 volume setting. This happens constantly and I hate it when I voice a question I get called on it, and yelled at by the majority of the room.
I hate it when you ask one question as to why something hasn't happened to have people coming back at me saying "Franny, you are so dumb", "Franny, shut up."... Do you not think that is plain rude? And because I find it offensive, wrong and the environment is oppressive; I come back. I'm not going to sit there and let the people that I live with and have to deal with everyday... treat me like shit and say that. It's down right wrong.
I do not talk to you like that, unless you start it. It always takes two, and I'm never the first to start it.

The next time this happens, I might not care about the surrounding, i'll just say whats on my mind and it will hurt the people around me, but that is because i have been holding back everything because I actually care what people feel like and don't think that they should have to deal with me being a dick to them all day, especially like the guys that I live with, do to me.

On a less serious note; if I had the "force" and a light saber; I'd fuck up everyone that has ever pissed me off. Why? No reason. The people that I live with would be down a couple of guys... but don't you think that would make for a better world?

F.F

Random Quotations

"Some things you can't change in this world. So you have to change the ones you can."
- B.J.K


:)


F.F

Apology

Janiners, if ever you read this, know that I am sorry for what the section put you through. Know that it was wrong as it seemed like you split apart those whom were happy; however as of now, i feel that you don't deserve what happened to you last semester.
FORGIVEN!

F.F

I hate you, and then i love you. It's like i want to throw you off a cliff, then rush to the bottom to catch you.

Indifference is key

You know, keeping things a secret is pointless and useless. wanna know why? because secrets get out and people never think that they will. I can keep a secret because I am a private person. when people who usually share their everyday life with everyone loudly and think that they can keep a secret, they are usually wrong. i live with a group of 42 and know the people on my floor the best, no surprise, but the thing is, secrets here spread like wild fire. you cant stop them so just get out of their way and just wait for it to be over. whats the worst that could happen? people will judge you, yes. they may look at you differently, most definitely. however you are you, you most likely did whatever you did, however in the next week, no one is going to remember this because another debacle or situation will come up and you'll be forgotten. the thing that i laugh at is the people that feel the need to be a part of every small thing. i feel bad for you on one hand, however, not on the other because i know that you are willingly doing it. when you repeat yourself multiple times a day and then when i heard the same thing weeks after the conversation is over; i know: along with other people that have been paying attention to you, that you really have nothing better to say and you want to draw attention to yourself... again. the thing is, when you draw attention to yourself people look at you and ask questions... you get those fleeting moments of feeling special. congratulations, let the next person talk, don't just bowl them over and keep talking about things that people have already heard about because; i'll call you on it. You can tell that i have a lot to say, and most of it isn't repeated.

Secrets come out; so dont keep secrets especially when they are pointless and stupid and the fact that you did something stupid in the first place and try to hide it... doesn't help. its like a murderer hiding a dead body in their house and inviting all of their friends for dinner and a sleepover... stupid. Get the secret out, clear the air, and fucking own it. Maybe then i wont have to hear about 97268262762 sides of the exact same story that it gives me a migraine that i do not need (midterms next week) because i gots shit to do!
I love being included, really i do, i love giving advice (mainly because i cannot take advice) and i love being there for you, but i think that its time to bury the hatchet and just get over yourself or selves... its not fun for me, or for anyone else who aren't involved, because like i said. secrets travel and its chances that everyone will know about whatever happened by the end of the day. we all have cell phones... gotta love gloabalization at work! :)

anyway, enough of my rant (you all know i'm right, don't bother arguing) i might go to bed... or face this little problem in the face... we'll have to see. actually, i don't really care, i'm ready to get on with my life...

enjoy yours


F.F

Done

Do you ever feel like breaking down? do you ever feel outta place? Like somehow you just don't belong, and no one understands you? Do you ever wanna run away? Do you lock yourself in your room? With the radio on turned up so loud...That no one hears you screaming. No you don't know what it's like When nothing feels all right You don't know what it's like To be like me

To be hurt, to be lost, to be left out in the dark. To be kicked when you're down, to feel like you've been pushed around, to be on the edge of breaking down, and no one there's to save you. No you don't know what it's like, welcome to my life. Do you wanna be somebody else. Are you sick of feeling so left out? Are you desperate to find something more? Before your life is over. Welcome to my life. Not to be over melodramatic, but this is how I feel.

I want to make changes in my life, not even to be perfect, because perfection is in the eye of the beholder, and is dependent, obviously, on who that is. I just want to make a change, that will get me a stable job or something, so maybe life would be easier for me? Not even easier, just different in the way that all my life, I've had everything I've wanted; i'm spoiled, i know and understand that, but not in the way that I perceive and view others to be, but different as in maybe a bit harder or something that I need to work for, because I don't think that I have ever done a days work, a solid days work for school or in a job ever in my life, I've always gotten help or never felt the need to do it. If i find out where I want to go, I get that drive that everyone talks about, the drive to do well and try for that thing, and I haven't found that drive, and I want it now so that I am set for life. I know this sounds really depressing, but bear with me for the meanwhile. 

Im in university now, and I have this image of what i want my life to be and feel like, what i know my future should look like, where i should be in my life at 25 years of age, how i want my house to look, I know the details of this world that I have in my head, and I know i can reach them, its just difficult to get there. its like I need to find the right path that will lead me to all of these great things that I have envisioned myself using, seeing, feeling, touching, but it's like i've missed a part of a puzzle, or missed some huge important chunk of myself that I need to get back in order to complete this dream. It's difficult to get somewhere or to achieve anything, when the people that you live with put you down, and don't treat you with respect. when your ideas with "... that's dumb", "no franny, fuck off", "fucking franny doesn't know anything", "boom roasted" and comments that interrupt your ideas, you lose focus and you lose your point which makes foe an awful day. That also puts me down and prevents me from saying ideas because i never get heard out, and on the off chance that someone isn't talking over me and people actually hear me, I get those aforementioned responses. I cannot stand some of you when you are rude to me like that, recently i have just left the conversation and gone into my room because i cannot stand to be in the same room as someone who is so awful to me and has no respect for the people that we live with.

You know how you let people do things for a while, and then you change, and suddenly they aren't allowed those "perks" from you anymore because you've decided that you've changed and enough is enough, things have got to change? well, thats where I am right now. I want things differently; I'm not drunk all the time, so things happen differently. I don't always let people sign my boobs all the time or on a daily basis, I most certainly do not allow them to touch my boobs, which is now coming to a stop. I don't care if i'm drunk or not, it comes and it stops now. The odd thing is, is that when I say no, I get guys calling me a bitch and the "c-word" and that is so inappropriate. This shit stops now, its crazy and I absolutely hate it with a passion. Does no one understand that when I say "No" or "Don't" I mean it, and yes, I sound unhappy, and short but maybe consider my feelings? Who wants to be groped? Who wants to be touched and have to physically restrain the guys? No one. So when I say it I mean it. Walking down the halls, having your ass smacked, and people go for your sweats really isn't the best thing in the world to have to deal with everyday, because eventually that person will snap; and you get blackfranny (all joking aside, stop it please; it makes me upset to be used and treated like a piece of meat). I'm desensitized to half of the crap that happens around here, and thats awful. It has been a long couple months, and dealing with your version of entertainment sickens me. I don't want to have to justify myself, but I know that if i spoke to all of you, you'd shoot me down, interrupt what I have to say and just ignore it as you have done in the past. I know, I know, "Don't sweat the small stuff", this used to be a small issue, but now I feel that it's grown and I can't handle, more like will not handle, all of this. So, to re-iterate myself; it ends.

I AM DONE WITH ALL THE SHIT THAT I HAVE TAKEN FOR THE PAST COUPLE MONTHS.

I can go for hours talking about all of the stuff that has happened, jokingly is fine, but you can't jokingly call people hurtful names and expect them not to react in any way; that is definitely not going to happen. So when i'm upset and I say stop, its mostly because I dont want to deal with you right now. Im not being a bitch, im just not interested in the shit that you have planned to make me angry or pissed off with.

Thanks ever so much,

F.F

Enjoy!

RISPL QLA L FEWLR SLT, FIR RI OKLT AUNA, YBDIERYBLRWKT ... U XLLIR ALCW RGW FLNW... ALS RUNWA LAA LEIYBS

Just wanted to let you all know...
Love,
F.F