For some reason we are reading the funniest jokes of Chuck Norris.... I wrote down some of the best ones that I laughed hysterically at... here ya go!
"Chuck Norris once beat a wall at tennis"
"Chuck Norris can see his forehead without looking in the mirror"
"Chuck Norris can finish reading the never ending story"
"Chuck Norris can count to infinity... twice"
"Jalapeños think Chuck Norris is hot"
"Chuck Norris never runs out of ammunition, he sweats bullets"
"Chuck Norris can catch 'em all"
"Chuck Norris' idea of a practical joke is war"
"Chuck Norris is so tough, he makes onions cry"
"Chuck Norris can make a stop sign say go"
"Some people break the laws of the states, Chuck Norris breaks the laws of Physics"
"Chuck Norris can punch the stench out of a skunk"
"Chuck Norris is the reason Jack is in the box"
"Chuck Norris can nail Jello to a tree"
"Chuck Norris can burn a fire-proof vest.... UNDERWATER"
"Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door"
"Chuck Norris invented nun-chucks after defeating 100 evils nuns with two wooden rulers tied together"
"When you google Chuck Norris, he googles you back for revenge"
"Chuck Norris can rhyme purple and orange... together"
"Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork"
"Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle"
"Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage"
"Chuck Norris can speak braille"
"Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer... too bad he's never cried"
"Chuck Norris doesn't swim, he beats the crap outta water until it takes him wherever he wants to go"
"Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes, corn needs to lie the fuck down"
"Chuck Norris can win a staring competition while blinking"
"In Ring-Around-The-Rose, Chuck Norris does not fall down"
"Chuck Norris can moon-walk forwards"
"Chuck Norris can make a stuffed animal bleed."
Hahahahha, I don't ever think i've laughed so hard at these jokes! Omggggg
Good times with I-Dizzle, Ammi, and Perry!
Until next time!
F.F
Friday, January 28, 2011
Giggle Food
Okay,
So, for some unknown random reason, a while ago when Ammi and I were really tired, and I had had my hit of NeoCitran, we, for some unknown reason began to giggle at my fake potatoes. To be honest; they aren't fake mashed potatoes. They just come from a box. All I do is stick em in a pot, add some water and margarine, stir it and its potatoes! Mashed potatoes! That like, the exact same steps its takes to make actually mashed potatoes... apart from the annoying peeling part of it; which just makes everything THAT much better. That happened a while ago, I only thought that I'd share it with you because it started a whole other round of stories! For some reason, Ammi and I spent about an hour laughing hysterically at the fact that my box of Instant Mashed Potatoes (yum!) have random calories and how these long ass names of the proteins that are in my potatoes sound really funny, and then we moved onto cereal... We both must have had some Neo that day, because I cant ever remember laughing so hard about the contents of a box.
The other day, Ammi was eating an apple. For some reason Jena starting taking massive gasps of air which sounded like Ammi eating her apple which made her giggle so much! There is something about our suite and eating food which makes us laugh at the most randomest things. She also puts peanut butter on her apple... is that normal in Canada, cuz I haven't ever heard that or seen that ever happen before.
Moving from food to the internet, we are reading funny parts to text messages sent on iPhones, and at every single one, Ammi laughs, catches her breath, reads it and then laughs again at the randomest thing and cannot even get through the sentence.
Switching topics again, Ammi and I were chilling on my bed when Will comes into my room, and starts talking really loudly; he;s drunk so we dont give him a hard time, we ask him to be a little quieter and then Ammi goes the FULL 10 yards and calls him obnoxious... He just looks at Ammi and walks away saying "Yo, F.F and Ammi are hhhaaattteeersssssss" We both laugh and call him to come back to my room so that we can talk! We hear silence and then randomly the beat of a drum... "Ammmmmmmmyy and Frannnnnyyyyyyyyyyy..." Banging getting louder "I know you are aaaannnnggrryyyyyyyyyyy" he emerges in the suite door banging on walls in this rhythm "But it makes me sad- that you are so mad" by this point Ammi and I are in hysterics "leave me on my owwwwnnnn"... I don't actually know what that last line of the song meant... but it just went so it was hilarious to us both. Nick rapping whilst drunk is one of the funniest things that has happened in 2011 in Sec-C.
The trend setter that I am, I wear dark jeans, brown belt, dark blue shoes, and a striped white and blue top. Note: I have worn this all day, haven't changed. S'rah comes outta the shower gets changed, comes outta her room for dinner and we both get into the elevator. All the guys look at us and say "You guys match, you know that?". We look at each other at the same time and say the same thing; the response? "oh now your twins... Franny, if you weren't black, you would be twins" You really gotta love res to live with them an deal with what they have to say. Made me laugh! Anyway, S'rah is in this light blue and white striped t-shirt, darker jeans, and a dark belt... S'rah just wants to be me!
Gah, Its so hard being me....
Okay, I might just head to bed;
Have a good night!!!
F.F
So, for some unknown random reason, a while ago when Ammi and I were really tired, and I had had my hit of NeoCitran, we, for some unknown reason began to giggle at my fake potatoes. To be honest; they aren't fake mashed potatoes. They just come from a box. All I do is stick em in a pot, add some water and margarine, stir it and its potatoes! Mashed potatoes! That like, the exact same steps its takes to make actually mashed potatoes... apart from the annoying peeling part of it; which just makes everything THAT much better. That happened a while ago, I only thought that I'd share it with you because it started a whole other round of stories! For some reason, Ammi and I spent about an hour laughing hysterically at the fact that my box of Instant Mashed Potatoes (yum!) have random calories and how these long ass names of the proteins that are in my potatoes sound really funny, and then we moved onto cereal... We both must have had some Neo that day, because I cant ever remember laughing so hard about the contents of a box.
The other day, Ammi was eating an apple. For some reason Jena starting taking massive gasps of air which sounded like Ammi eating her apple which made her giggle so much! There is something about our suite and eating food which makes us laugh at the most randomest things. She also puts peanut butter on her apple... is that normal in Canada, cuz I haven't ever heard that or seen that ever happen before.
Moving from food to the internet, we are reading funny parts to text messages sent on iPhones, and at every single one, Ammi laughs, catches her breath, reads it and then laughs again at the randomest thing and cannot even get through the sentence.
Switching topics again, Ammi and I were chilling on my bed when Will comes into my room, and starts talking really loudly; he;s drunk so we dont give him a hard time, we ask him to be a little quieter and then Ammi goes the FULL 10 yards and calls him obnoxious... He just looks at Ammi and walks away saying "Yo, F.F and Ammi are hhhaaattteeersssssss" We both laugh and call him to come back to my room so that we can talk! We hear silence and then randomly the beat of a drum... "Ammmmmmmmyy and Frannnnnyyyyyyyyyyy..." Banging getting louder "I know you are aaaannnnggrryyyyyyyyyyy" he emerges in the suite door banging on walls in this rhythm "But it makes me sad- that you are so mad" by this point Ammi and I are in hysterics "leave me on my owwwwnnnn"... I don't actually know what that last line of the song meant... but it just went so it was hilarious to us both. Nick rapping whilst drunk is one of the funniest things that has happened in 2011 in Sec-C.
The trend setter that I am, I wear dark jeans, brown belt, dark blue shoes, and a striped white and blue top. Note: I have worn this all day, haven't changed. S'rah comes outta the shower gets changed, comes outta her room for dinner and we both get into the elevator. All the guys look at us and say "You guys match, you know that?". We look at each other at the same time and say the same thing; the response? "oh now your twins... Franny, if you weren't black, you would be twins" You really gotta love res to live with them an deal with what they have to say. Made me laugh! Anyway, S'rah is in this light blue and white striped t-shirt, darker jeans, and a dark belt... S'rah just wants to be me!
Gah, Its so hard being me....
Okay, I might just head to bed;
Have a good night!!!
F.F
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Learning to "Snap It"
Hi again,
Nothing really new has happened in the past couple days that I have been silent apart from this new thing that Clutch Kick taught me at the dinner table the other day. We were sitting down eating whatever food the prison provider had served our broke ass university students and someone decided that it would be fun to click, or to snap. to me it sounded like more of a click and not a slap but when I offered up that opinion it was immediate smacked right down by foolish Potter. Anyway, I learnt to snap it at the table, It's when you put your fingers together and press them together pushing them as you do so to make a snapping sound. Which you'd think sounds like a science... it's not. This thing actually works! I hadn't snapped since I was like 9... because mature, university students don't sit around the dinner table talking about snapping your fingers and actually attempting it... but we did and it was an amazing experience!
When we all finished eating, we went down to Clutch Kicks room and had a discussion. He also told me that men can use another body part to make something snap... :D
True story bro. He said that guys had to be naked or wearing loose boxers and wind their legs up as if they were a dog taking a piss and then kick their leg out to make their balls snap together and hit their leg for that crisp snap sound.
You may ask how guys know this... I personally, have no clue how they learn this. Too many bored nights? Home alone? Dancing around naked doing the windmill incorrectly... there are a variety of reasons that may have lead up to this moment... however, whatever the reason, Clutch Kick now knows along with Shaun and Curler. I hear a vague snapping of something when I am around Will and CK and the whisper of dis pair by Shaun going "my virgin ears..." After telling us this, Will went behind his closet doors and made a snapping sound so fast we all wondered what it was, when he appeared with a grin on his face I couldn't stop laughing and had to leave. Shaun kept saying "my virgin ears!" and Curler was gasping for air. The things that you no see, hear and know about the people you live with... you'll never forget it. Its permanently cemented into my brain.
Be jealous of our section!
I'm out.
F.F
Nothing really new has happened in the past couple days that I have been silent apart from this new thing that Clutch Kick taught me at the dinner table the other day. We were sitting down eating whatever food the prison provider had served our broke ass university students and someone decided that it would be fun to click, or to snap. to me it sounded like more of a click and not a slap but when I offered up that opinion it was immediate smacked right down by foolish Potter. Anyway, I learnt to snap it at the table, It's when you put your fingers together and press them together pushing them as you do so to make a snapping sound. Which you'd think sounds like a science... it's not. This thing actually works! I hadn't snapped since I was like 9... because mature, university students don't sit around the dinner table talking about snapping your fingers and actually attempting it... but we did and it was an amazing experience!
When we all finished eating, we went down to Clutch Kicks room and had a discussion. He also told me that men can use another body part to make something snap... :D
True story bro. He said that guys had to be naked or wearing loose boxers and wind their legs up as if they were a dog taking a piss and then kick their leg out to make their balls snap together and hit their leg for that crisp snap sound.
You may ask how guys know this... I personally, have no clue how they learn this. Too many bored nights? Home alone? Dancing around naked doing the windmill incorrectly... there are a variety of reasons that may have lead up to this moment... however, whatever the reason, Clutch Kick now knows along with Shaun and Curler. I hear a vague snapping of something when I am around Will and CK and the whisper of dis pair by Shaun going "my virgin ears..." After telling us this, Will went behind his closet doors and made a snapping sound so fast we all wondered what it was, when he appeared with a grin on his face I couldn't stop laughing and had to leave. Shaun kept saying "my virgin ears!" and Curler was gasping for air. The things that you no see, hear and know about the people you live with... you'll never forget it. Its permanently cemented into my brain.
Be jealous of our section!
I'm out.
F.F
Friday, January 21, 2011
Random Quotes
I love quotes, I used to go and find random quotes to do with everyday life and talk about them with Andrew. I went on to photo bucket to find these.
I found this one pretty damn funny, because of all the issues that have been going on lately, I just want them done and gone.
Enjoy your weekend
F.F
I found this one pretty damn funny, because of all the issues that have been going on lately, I just want them done and gone.
Enjoy your weekend
F.F
Thursday, January 20, 2011
The Inability To Win
Im back in the midst of a teeny tiny crisis which has threatened to replicate my high school life and experience....
Remember how I said that High school was a little like University, however you live alone? Well, I am sticking to that. Andrew is this person that I've known for a couple years, and we're really good friends (or I think so). Anyway, Andrew came up in conversation with Nessa, Iz and Ammi. I was not happy that this was happening right now. It was hell breaking loose like I have never seen it. I like to write, which is why I have this blog, and I like writing letters, feels more personal. Also, I like movies, and I hate it when people feel left out; So I took the initiative and helped out a friend. I sent two dvd's and a four page letter. Apparently this was all exciting and interesting to the girls that live on my floor. They questioned me endlessly and made all this random shit up. for example... "Fran, how many pages did you write to this guy?", I reply "Four, I like writing feels more personal" and then comes Ammi is all like "ohhhhhh more personal, what you got in there Franny!? Pictures? Omg, you have pictures don't you! I knew it! You love him! He sends you poetry! You're gonna have his babies!" all the while- I'm shaking my head... I worry about the way information circulates around the university.... Given, they were in the same room, but this was one person talking, and the others believing everything that she had to say. Absolutely ridiculous.
In the space of 5 minutes they have recounted my high school life. I almost worry if they attended my high school or talked to someone that knows my every detail because the things that came up tonight, were creepy accurate. NOT accurate in the fact that I want his babies, or "love" the guy, simply in that as I have already said, High School in a different setting, with different people. If that even is possible.
Gah, frustration much!?
Anyway, Im gonna get back in there denying everything I can.
F.F
Remember how I said that High school was a little like University, however you live alone? Well, I am sticking to that. Andrew is this person that I've known for a couple years, and we're really good friends (or I think so). Anyway, Andrew came up in conversation with Nessa, Iz and Ammi. I was not happy that this was happening right now. It was hell breaking loose like I have never seen it. I like to write, which is why I have this blog, and I like writing letters, feels more personal. Also, I like movies, and I hate it when people feel left out; So I took the initiative and helped out a friend. I sent two dvd's and a four page letter. Apparently this was all exciting and interesting to the girls that live on my floor. They questioned me endlessly and made all this random shit up. for example... "Fran, how many pages did you write to this guy?", I reply "Four, I like writing feels more personal" and then comes Ammi is all like "ohhhhhh more personal, what you got in there Franny!? Pictures? Omg, you have pictures don't you! I knew it! You love him! He sends you poetry! You're gonna have his babies!" all the while- I'm shaking my head... I worry about the way information circulates around the university.... Given, they were in the same room, but this was one person talking, and the others believing everything that she had to say. Absolutely ridiculous.
In the space of 5 minutes they have recounted my high school life. I almost worry if they attended my high school or talked to someone that knows my every detail because the things that came up tonight, were creepy accurate. NOT accurate in the fact that I want his babies, or "love" the guy, simply in that as I have already said, High School in a different setting, with different people. If that even is possible.
Gah, frustration much!?
Anyway, Im gonna get back in there denying everything I can.
F.F
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Moodle Rhymes with Tootle
You'd think that being in University were to have fun and enjoy yourself, but most importantly to learn. S'rah, Maddie, Shaun and I are in the same Anthro class. Not much learning there. One, because the teacher has repeated himself for the last 3 classes and you learn to pick up new things after the second time. Second, Shaun is tapping her arrow keys like no other, I don't even need to turn around to know what shes doing. Furious tapping of keys equals intense tetris playing going on. (Most of our floor does it, but I held the highest score until a couple days ago.... details need not be discussed) Third, the teacher said the funniest thing about bull whips the other day... story for another time, but it went soooooo far off Anthro, and it was a little dirty; which makes jokes that much funnier.
My main point of this was to tell you that we are guinea pigs. Not actually, but in my class we are. Someone decided that we weren't to use Blackboard or WebCt (Which are the same exact thing apart for the name, a little like biscuits and cookies) we are now to use this new software called Moodle... Yeah, Moodle... Like, who comes up with that? It's not even a real word. Some genius in some office probably was doodling in their notebook and whipped Moodle out of their ass. Anyway, we are now using Moodle. Its like facebook for classrooms... brand new and catchy so that the younger generation likes it... the only cool thing about it is the colours... which I'm sure was their intention. It's a little creepy, Shaun found out that you could check out peoples time stamps of when they'd last signed into it... Stalkers of the world, welcome to Moodle.
I probably wont use it, Moodle rhymes with poodle and that makes me giggle. Gonna be hard to focus with Poo running around my head every time I think about which website I'm using. (Laughing right now, good lord I enjoy university)
When I heard the name Moodle, I automatically started reeling off about all the other words, real words like "poodle" it rhymes with. And then, because my friend S'rah was...chilling... with this guy called John Tootle, (Between being called John and Tootle, I'd pick Tootle... more awesome of a name if you ask me) I turned around in my seat in Anthro and whispered "Moodle rhymes with Tootle". I think I had a sugar rush or something because I couldn't stop laughing! You know the times that i'm talking about! Shaun, Madds and S'rah rolled their eyes at me... I want a bloody laugh or something, it's not like Anthro was grasping our attention at that time or anything.
Just kidding, we all had fun in that class Moodle-ing, Tootle-ing, Poodle-ing... and learning about dinosaurs... ;)
Anyway, It's late and I have an early class tomorrow...
Till Next Time!
F.F
My main point of this was to tell you that we are guinea pigs. Not actually, but in my class we are. Someone decided that we weren't to use Blackboard or WebCt (Which are the same exact thing apart for the name, a little like biscuits and cookies) we are now to use this new software called Moodle... Yeah, Moodle... Like, who comes up with that? It's not even a real word. Some genius in some office probably was doodling in their notebook and whipped Moodle out of their ass. Anyway, we are now using Moodle. Its like facebook for classrooms... brand new and catchy so that the younger generation likes it... the only cool thing about it is the colours... which I'm sure was their intention. It's a little creepy, Shaun found out that you could check out peoples time stamps of when they'd last signed into it... Stalkers of the world, welcome to Moodle.
I probably wont use it, Moodle rhymes with poodle and that makes me giggle. Gonna be hard to focus with Poo running around my head every time I think about which website I'm using. (Laughing right now, good lord I enjoy university)
When I heard the name Moodle, I automatically started reeling off about all the other words, real words like "poodle" it rhymes with. And then, because my friend S'rah was...chilling... with this guy called John Tootle, (Between being called John and Tootle, I'd pick Tootle... more awesome of a name if you ask me) I turned around in my seat in Anthro and whispered "Moodle rhymes with Tootle". I think I had a sugar rush or something because I couldn't stop laughing! You know the times that i'm talking about! Shaun, Madds and S'rah rolled their eyes at me... I want a bloody laugh or something, it's not like Anthro was grasping our attention at that time or anything.
Just kidding, we all had fun in that class Moodle-ing, Tootle-ing, Poodle-ing... and learning about dinosaurs... ;)
Anyway, It's late and I have an early class tomorrow...
Till Next Time!
F.F
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Tonights Events
I'm Back!
Beware, I am a little rusty and need to get back into the swing of things... but, here goes.
Harry Potter has lost his magic touch. Touching has its consequences (refer to the nail marks down Potters arm). Prairie Boy, his muggle, ever loyal, and never faulting side kick also wanted to get into the melee and joins in only to find that my nails are a weapon, and are not to be reckoned with. This must be confusing to all those that do not live with me, or have only a couple or partial details, so let me start with this...
Decemeber 23rd 2010. I was blessed with the good fortune of having an early present, gifted to me by myself. My Blackberry Bold 9780. It is my baby, my child, and a little bit of my life. It is very important to me, and when those who dare take it from me figure that out, it's already moments from being too late.
Will Smith offered up his friend Clutch Kick right to me when I came into their room and demanded my child (Blackberry) back from them. After being treated like Dobby; shoved unceremoniously into a closet by Potter; I had to beat my way out. I rocked that thing back and forth, back and forth, often doing a little booty pop to try and get out of the thing. Dobby couldn't manage that as he isn't blessed with my ass. After clawing my way out of his closet I turn to find Prairie Boy holding (to those that know him, it isn't surprising) his weapon of choice... An automatic Nerf Gun. Flying at me, I ran for cover. I did what they did in Dodgeball. I dodged, I duck, I dived, and I dodged again! Flying into Potters bed, I scramble from blankets pillows, anything to stop those annoying little pellets shooting at me. Prairie Boy runs out of bullets, I look up to see Potter coming at me. I scratched and I clawed. Clutch Kick joins us on the bed, hell bent on stopping me from hurting Precious Potter. Prairie Boy jumps into the struggle on their bed and does the only thing he can think of! Wet Willy! I almost broke that boys finger. No one spits on a finger and tries to wiggle it into my ear... NO ONE. They finally grab a leg and an arm and carry me into the hallway when brilliance (and i say this lightly) strikes them. Without any electronics on my person, they believe that it would be highly entertaining to bring me into the bathroom. They toss me into the shower and make it rain. I am furious. My cell phone wasn't on me at this point thank goodness, but nonetheless... to have water being poured from above when you were all nice and warm... ain't nice. Did I mention I had conditioned my hair earlier that same night??? Well, I did, so naturally, it went all frizzy and shit, and I still hadn't got my cell back. When I emerged from the shower after Groben and Crazy Blonde Girl With Lip Ring finish taping this epic battle, I see it. Across the room. In the distance. My Blackberry. I run and grasp it. I run right back into my room and stash it there, lock the door and then I realize, it was a distraction. Prairie Boy comes running around the corner to see... well I will not get into details, but it was basically me against all the boys on my floor. 4 Guys that all work out, hell; Prairie Boy bench presses cattle daily and I have Will and Clutch Kick drinking protein and working out endlessly. Anyway, he see's me, dripping wet eying what was in his hand. MY UNDERWEAR! Yes people, the shit did hit the fan. 20 minutes later I return with all of my underwear and clothing after finding Will Smith, Clutch Kick, Potter and Prairie Boy in Will's room wearing all of my clothing. If they'd wanted to wear girls clothes, they could have got them from anyone else... But no, I am the victim. *sigh*
Having a friend as backup, we entered the room and got my clothes. My face was unreadable, apart from the obvious contempt that was displayed on it.
In all of this Potter came back for a last word. His picture of Hermione Granger in a calendar was ripped in all the mess, naturally he would blame the victim (me). Her face is almost ripped through, I myself would have ripped the entire thing in half and burnt it all up in front of his eyes after his cheek tonight... But, C'est la vie.
In all of this "excitement" and running around got me really shaky. I have to say, I was in dire need of a G&T. Walking over to my other friends (the ones that are mature and don't feel the need to try on other peoples clothing) I mixed the drink and drank it. Gin has never tasted so good, lemme tell you that.
I sit here now, sore and suffering from broken nails.
Until Next Time,
F.F
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