I'm Back!
Beware, I am a little rusty and need to get back into the swing of things... but, here goes.
Harry Potter has lost his magic touch. Touching has its consequences (refer to the nail marks down Potters arm). Prairie Boy, his muggle, ever loyal, and never faulting side kick also wanted to get into the melee and joins in only to find that my nails are a weapon, and are not to be reckoned with. This must be confusing to all those that do not live with me, or have only a couple or partial details, so let me start with this...
Decemeber 23rd 2010. I was blessed with the good fortune of having an early present, gifted to me by myself. My Blackberry Bold 9780. It is my baby, my child, and a little bit of my life. It is very important to me, and when those who dare take it from me figure that out, it's already moments from being too late.
Will Smith offered up his friend Clutch Kick right to me when I came into their room and demanded my child (Blackberry) back from them. After being treated like Dobby; shoved unceremoniously into a closet by Potter; I had to beat my way out. I rocked that thing back and forth, back and forth, often doing a little booty pop to try and get out of the thing. Dobby couldn't manage that as he isn't blessed with my ass. After clawing my way out of his closet I turn to find Prairie Boy holding (to those that know him, it isn't surprising) his weapon of choice... An automatic Nerf Gun. Flying at me, I ran for cover. I did what they did in Dodgeball. I dodged, I duck, I dived, and I dodged again! Flying into Potters bed, I scramble from blankets pillows, anything to stop those annoying little pellets shooting at me. Prairie Boy runs out of bullets, I look up to see Potter coming at me. I scratched and I clawed. Clutch Kick joins us on the bed, hell bent on stopping me from hurting Precious Potter. Prairie Boy jumps into the struggle on their bed and does the only thing he can think of! Wet Willy! I almost broke that boys finger. No one spits on a finger and tries to wiggle it into my ear... NO ONE. They finally grab a leg and an arm and carry me into the hallway when brilliance (and i say this lightly) strikes them. Without any electronics on my person, they believe that it would be highly entertaining to bring me into the bathroom. They toss me into the shower and make it rain. I am furious. My cell phone wasn't on me at this point thank goodness, but nonetheless... to have water being poured from above when you were all nice and warm... ain't nice. Did I mention I had conditioned my hair earlier that same night??? Well, I did, so naturally, it went all frizzy and shit, and I still hadn't got my cell back. When I emerged from the shower after Groben and Crazy Blonde Girl With Lip Ring finish taping this epic battle, I see it. Across the room. In the distance. My Blackberry. I run and grasp it. I run right back into my room and stash it there, lock the door and then I realize, it was a distraction. Prairie Boy comes running around the corner to see... well I will not get into details, but it was basically me against all the boys on my floor. 4 Guys that all work out, hell; Prairie Boy bench presses cattle daily and I have Will and Clutch Kick drinking protein and working out endlessly. Anyway, he see's me, dripping wet eying what was in his hand. MY UNDERWEAR! Yes people, the shit did hit the fan. 20 minutes later I return with all of my underwear and clothing after finding Will Smith, Clutch Kick, Potter and Prairie Boy in Will's room wearing all of my clothing. If they'd wanted to wear girls clothes, they could have got them from anyone else... But no, I am the victim. *sigh*
Having a friend as backup, we entered the room and got my clothes. My face was unreadable, apart from the obvious contempt that was displayed on it.
In all of this Potter came back for a last word. His picture of Hermione Granger in a calendar was ripped in all the mess, naturally he would blame the victim (me). Her face is almost ripped through, I myself would have ripped the entire thing in half and burnt it all up in front of his eyes after his cheek tonight... But, C'est la vie.
In all of this "excitement" and running around got me really shaky. I have to say, I was in dire need of a G&T. Walking over to my other friends (the ones that are mature and don't feel the need to try on other peoples clothing) I mixed the drink and drank it. Gin has never tasted so good, lemme tell you that.
I sit here now, sore and suffering from broken nails.
Until Next Time,
F.F
3 comments:
Wow. The times I do miss of having such exhilerance when F.F. attacks. Her blatent anger only blinding her from obvious distraction until she unleashes her shell and rips (and i mean RIPS) the flesh right off of your bones. Probably got some muscle in the way.... To F.F., keep the fight alive. To others, watch your back, because she is like an elephant, she never forgets.
Hi, do I know you?
F.F
Maybe, wouldn't it be a better question if you asked if I knew you?
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